Madeleine, genderfluid pansexual. I like weapons and words and martial arts. This is my "about me" tag. Find me on twitter.
Personality traits: bold, passionate, energetic, rational, impatient, honest, occasionally reserved, impulsive, perceptive, direct, stubborn, often distracted, unstructured.
In more detail: the colour maroon, morning runs, licorice tea, bare feet on the ground, margays, mythology, good tunes, patchouli and jasmine, Remus and Teddy Lupin, early morning conversation, those people you can have the same conversations with any other time of day, dark chocolate, nature, morbid/horror films, Gian Lorenzo Bernini, Caravaggio, Poe, wordsmithing, stargazing (with good company), girls, summer, girls in the summer, sunrise meditation, theatre, my hometown harbour, Star Wars, bonfires, The di Angelo family, science fiction.
I practice: yoga, archery, piano, fencing, ballet, intersectional feminism, multiple forms of martial arts (but my favourites are muay thai kickboxing, krav maga, and brazilian jiu jitsu).

↳ Myers-Briggs: ISTP
↳ Temperament Blend: 70% Sanguine, 30% Choleric
↳ Enneagram: Type 7
↳ Soul type: Warrior
↳ Moral Alignment: True Neutral
↳ Hogwarts House: Gryffindor
↳ ASOIAF House: Martell

Word shit I like, describes me better than I ever could with a paragraph or two:

sanguinolent/syzygy/jolie-laide/eumoirous/amarinthine

I didn’t say I liked it. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

At least I have the flowers of myself,
and my thoughts, no god
can take that;
I have the fervour of myself for a presence
and my own spirit for light;
and my spirit with its loss
knows this;
though small against the black,
small against the formless rocks,
hell must break before I am lost;
before I am lost,
hell must open like a red rose
for the dead to pass.

She did not flinch. “My past,” she told the room, “is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on.”

Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.

Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.

Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier;
I have seen worse sights than this.

You’re a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust, what do you have to be scared of?

I am going to hurt you.
You are going to hurt me.
But we will do it with practiced fingers
and passionate mouths
and I swear to god
it will be worth something.

I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are.

When you’re a kid, they tell you it’s all… grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that’s it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It’s so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.

No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice.

Whatever causes night in our souls may leave stars.

This barricade is made neither of paving stones, nor of timbers, nor of iron; it is made of two mounds, a mound of ideas and a mound of sorrows. Here misery encounters the ideal. Here the day embraces the night, and says: I will die with you and you will be born again with me.

Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC

I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently…When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

I am mine.
before I am ever anyone else’s.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas-covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

You are personally responsible for becoming more ethical than the society you grew up in.

People speak sometimes about the ‘bestial’ cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.

Do not try to be pretty. You weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don’t let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty.”

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.

A riot is the language of the unheard.

Of course you don’t fight fire with fire, but you do fight it by suffocating it, drowning it, or stomping it out. You don't stop fire by just standing there and asking it nicely “Please don't burn my neighborhood down."

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not;
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.

Modern prophets:
kids with messy hair and dark circles under their eyes w/ knowledge to bring nations to their knees and migraines from late nights trying to make out cryptic messages and omens knowing you’re meant for something bigger and better you’re more than mortal you are holy. you are loved by something more than human and that’s forever.

Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece, after all.

I was wounded early,
and early I learned
that wounds made me.

Write beautifully what people don’t want to hear.

I think... if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.

aut viam inveniam aut faciam. (either find a way or make one.)

Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.

Be proud of your place in the Cosmos. It is small, and yet, it is.

The first question I ask myself when something does not seem to be beautiful is: "Why do I think it is not beautiful?" And very shortly you will discover that there is no reason.

When the blood of your veins returns to the sea and the dust of your bones returns to the ground, maybe then will you remember that this earth does not belong to you, you belong to this earth.

You don’t need religion to have morals. If you can’t determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.

Collect books, even if you don’t plan on reading them right away. Nothing is more important than an unread library.

Le monde est grande, mais en nous
il est profond comme la mer.
(The world is large, but in us
It is deep as the sea.)

L'espace m'a toujours rendu silencieux.
(Space has always reduced me to silence.)

Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.

Choices are made in brief seconds and paid for in the time that remains.

(I want your stupid fucking sense of humour making me laugh at 4am when I have to be up at 6.)

I’m not interested in being easy on the eyes.
I want them to flinch, think twice before they reach out their callous hands to bruise.
I want to be a constant reminder to men that not everything is theirs for the taking.

Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.

Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it.

Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you are going to do it. It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their yellow paint.

Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.

Capitalism is a big bag of dicks.
— Karl Marx, Das Big Bag of Dicks VOL.1

Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.

When I pronounce the word Future,
the first syllable already belongs to the past.
When I pronounce the word Silence,
I destroy it.

Flowers in my hair and demons in my head.

People want to believe gender is something that’s essential, and people repeat these essentialist ideas all the time. ‘Oh, women do that’ and ‘Oh, men do that’ and the reality is that all women don’t anything. We as individuals do what we do, you know, and sometimes that’s informed by gender and sometimes it’s just who we are. And I think all that just makes people really, really uncomfortable because they don’t want to think about who they are.

It’s easy for someone to joke about scars if they’ve never been cut.
— William Shakespeare

Society has put up so many boundaries, so many limitations on what’s right and wrong that it’s almost impossible to get a pure thought out. It’s like a little kid, a little boy, looking at colors, and no one told him what colors are good, before somebody tells you you shouldn’t like pink because that’s for girls, or you’d instantly become a gay two-year-old. Why would anyone pick blue over pink? Pink is obviously a better color. Everyone’s born confident, and everything’s taken away from you. (Kanye West quote. Uncomfortable with the vague implications that being a "gay two-year old" is something undesirable, but the quote as a whole is worth a slip-up.)

It’s a very powerful thing when someone sees you as the person you wish you were.

The world is heavy, but your bones,
(just a cubic inch)
can hold 19,000 lbs.
Ounce for ounce, they are stronger than steel.
Atom for atom, you are more precious than diamond,
and stars have died, so that you may live.
You need to remember these things
when you say that you are weak and worthless

They say every atom in our bodies was once a part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving, maybe I’m going home.

In the future no one will kill anyone, the earth will shine, the human race will love. It will come, citizens, the day when all will be peace, harmony, light, joy, and life, it will come. And it is so that it comes that we are going to die.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.

If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don’t like. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself too, but that doesn’t mean you got to stop living.

THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE:
I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dogs. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.

If you need to be Icarus, be Icarus.
But don’t expect the sun to stop being the sun.

'…sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.'
'It's a lot more complicated than that…'
'No. It ain't. When people say things are more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts.'
'Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes—'
'But they STARTS with thinking about people as things…'

Whatever — the soup is getting cold.